Again I want to stress that the family has still asked that friends not come and visit Carson quite yet. It may be another week before he is ready to visit with others. I know that is an almost unbearably amount of time, we will do our best to post video and photos of him as we go along so you can hear him speak and see that contagious smile of his. I'll do my best to portray a portion of the Spirit that he brought to our encounter and hope that will suffice. I wish I could have stayed for longer, but he was tired and needed to get some rest before the surgery tomorrow.
I have heard a particular phrase repeated in a couple general conference talks by President Eyring. Whenever mentioning a time when he visited someone in a hospital or home who is struggling, he says, "I came to give comfort, but came away comforted." I don't know if that phrase has ever been truer in my life than today.
When I went into visit Carson it was quite an alarming image. The first thing I noticed was his neck brace. I can only imagine how difficult this recovery will be for him. I will not be able to move his head for a number of weeks. All he can do right now is wake up, stare at the same corner of the ceiling or the face of whoever is talking to him, and then fall back asleep. His arms and hands look really swollen and pale. Just from looking at him, you can tell that his lower-body is paralyzed. His legs are in really large weird-looking boots that keep his blood from clotting. There are tubes strapped all across his chest and taped all over his body. There is an oxygen tube in his nose and wrist-straps on his wrist.
Before he could even see me he gave a big grin and said, "Oh my gosh, look who it is!" He was immediately laughing and smiling. He had plenty of jokes ready. He is the same Carson we all know and love. Just hearing his voice seemed to bring a wave of peace. I asked him a couple questions, here are some of his responses:
Me:"How are you handling all this bud?"
C: "Its been good, at times it gets a little overwhelming when you think about the fact that I might never walk again, but I'm trying to stay positive."
Me: "So do you feel anything internally like stomach pains or can you tell if you need to go to the bathroom?"
C: "Nope nothing, it gets especially interesting when I'm getting my baths." (He said that as his nurse was taking blood samples. He loves making his nurses feel uncomfortable.)
I poked his chest and asked if he could feel it, it was right about his nipple-line that he couldn't feel anything else.
Me: "Do you have any feeling when you go to the bathroom?"
C: "None, I don't even know if I've gone to the bathroom since I've been here. I haven't eaten in three days because they won't give him food.
I told him that we had just ended our 24 hour fast, and I thought that was bad. He made sure to have me thank everyone who fasted for him over New Years Eve, he was really impressed with that.
I then played him the recording of all of yesterday's prayer meeting. He was so surprised to hear how many people came out to support him. I stood over him, holding my phone to his ear so he could hear the recording. It was so incredible to watch his face as he listened to people speak about him. Whenever someone new would start speaking he would well up with tears and they would stream down his cheeks. Chase stood on his other side and wiped the tears as they fell. I asked him to do it for me, btut I guess I wasn't that special.
There were a few moments when he seemed particularly touched. When Kyle Johnson said, "It is for this reason that I am here today. When doctors said I'd never walk again, this faith is why I am here." When Emily Wood started speaking more tears started coming, he seems to have a special love for her. When Bishop Austin started speaking he had a big smile on his face, which eventually turned to tears. He also got very emotional when he heard that Bishop Bridenstein, his former YSA bishop, had come from home after recently having surgery for prostate cancer. Perhaps the time when he was most emotional when President Downs started speaking, he has a great love and respect for that man.
During the recording, he reached up with his arm and gently rested it on my forearm and rubbed my arm. Then he looked at me and just wept, I don't think there was a dry eye in the room. In a moment when he should have every reason to be concerned about himself, he took time and made every effort to comfort me and feel his love.
After the recording finished, I said, "You see, now you have to get better."
He said through his tears, "With faith like that, how could I not be healed? I used to think I knew what God wanted me to be. I feel like I have been on the fast track for a while...But I will be whatever He wants me to be."
It was obvious that he was exhausted and tired, we took a quick photo and a video. And then we left, edified.
